poor little bugger

I'm feeling very sorry for everyone in my family right now.

I had a call from Mum last night and my niece is back in hospital today - we're not sure how long for, depends on how things go. She's had problems with her liver since she was 18 months old and has been on a bunch of drugs since then to try and cure or at least stabilise the condition. At this stage, she's facing a liver transplant when she's old enough (she's only 4yo). Anyway, apparently she's had a very painful back and was taken to the hospital on Sunday. The pain in her back is supposed to be caused by bone rubbing on bone because of some sort of deformity caused by the liver problem or by the drugs she's taking. Anyway, the short answer is that she's very ill and in pain and going back into hospital for more tests.

So I feel sorry for her with what she has to go through - something else which is going wrong with her poor little body.

And I feel sorry for B&S because they are going through what the parents of most children are going through. And apparently (so my Mum says) S is mad at B because he's always working and she thinks he should be giving her more support. But B is a typical Aussie bloke and will never give her the support she really needs from a girl friend - the ability to cry on someone's shoulder and have them say nothing more than "There, there". So I feel sorry for them both individually and as a couple.

And I feel sorry for my nephew because, once again, he's shoved off onto the grandparents while his parents deal with his sick older sister. He has had this happen to him ever since he was born practically, but it's got to affect him. The poor little bugger.

And I feel sorry for my Mum because she's had a big fight with S because S accused her of favouring my nephew over my niece - which is a bit hard not to do, because S so obviously favours my niece over my nephew (once again, something that tends to happen when you have a sick child). Mum thinks she's being irrational and is keeping her distance, but that's not necessarily the best solution with S and I can't tell my Mum that, she'll just get even more upset. But she doesn't seem to realise that sometimes avoiding the conflict just makes things worse.

And I feel sorry for my Dad because, if Mum's not talking to me about this stuff, then obviously he's copping it all. I'm happy that Mum's not laying it all on me, but I do feel sorry for Dad. Maybe I should try and have a quiet talk with him sometime when Mum's not around.

And that's the end of my family. All of them are being torn apart by this. And maybe I'm even feeling a bit sorry for myself because everyone else knew about this on Sunday and Mum wasn't going to tell me except that B might need to stay at my place while the niece is in hospital. I get that she wouldn't want me to worry, but I'm her aunt, I would like to know about stuff that is serious.

I can't help feeling that it's payback that I didn't tell her about my health problems while I was in Melbourne until I had to. I just didn't want her to worry or tell me that I should get the first flight back to Brisbane. I'm perfectly capable of looking after myself (even when sick) and don't like being told what to do. So she's not telling me about what's going on with my niece because she doesn't want to worry me? Or because she knows I don't want her to lay all of her problems on me? I'm feeling a little manipulated.

Listening to: Ben Folds - Sunny 16 and Super D