Observant little ...

I don't understand the answer, but I may have some ideas on the question...


This post by Scheherazade got me thinking about weddings.

My parents were married on my Mum's 21st birthday. Back then 21 was the age of majority and if you wanted to get married before that, you needed the parents' consent. My maternal grandparents refused to give their consent because my Dad wasn't Catholic. My Mum had renounced her Catholicism some years ago mind you, but her folks still objected to my Dad. Not the least because Mum refused to get married in the Catholic church because to do so you had to agree to raise your kids Catholic. Up until the morning of the wedding, my maternal grandma was still saying that she wouldn't go. And in fact, one of Mum's sisters did refuse to go. But as soon as Mum was married, they all accepted Dad as one of the family - after all, divorce was a much bigger scandal than a non-Catholic husband and wedding.

And my paternal grandma didn't approve of my Mum either. Mum was from one of those typical Catholic families - lots of kids and very little money. She thought my mum was common and not good enough for Dad by half. Once again, she accepted Mum after they were married and I think she's now very pleased that she ended up with Mum as a daughter-in-law. After all, if it was up to Dad, she'd never see any of our family.

So anyway, with all of this parental disapproval around, my folks had to pay for their own wedding. Unusual in those times and not easy for a 21 and 22 year old at the lower end of the job skills market (Dad was a bank teller, Mum was a shop assistant) to afford. So they had the smallest wedding they possibly could. They agreed to only invite immediate family (no cousins or aunts, of which there were many) and mutual friends. By doing so, they kept the size of the wedding down to 50 people, including the wedding party. Mum's dress was a very simple white shift which, after the wedding, she dyed a darker colour so she could wear it to dinners and the like. She had very short hair which couldn't be syled differently even if she'd wanted to and no veil or anything on her head. Dad just wore a suit that he already had. Their wedding procession cars were a bunch of mates' MGs and Austin Healy Sprites.

The ceremony was very simple and then they had a big party in a hall they'd hired after. Mum and Dad both look relaxed and happy in all of the photos and it sounds like a perfect wedding to me.

Maybe this is why my "dream" wedding has always been very simple. I don't really care about the ceremony, I'd be just as happy to just have a public vow exchange sort of deal and we hit the registry office either before or later to do the formalities. Basically, I just want some guy that I love to tell all of our friends and family that he loves me back, and then we all have a big party to celebrate. To me, that would be perfect.

Of course, being a chick, I've thought about what to wear. I think I've mentioned before that I'm a bit of a hippy at heart, so I'd prefer a dress that was a bit longer and more flowing than Mum's, but I'd be happy with something off the rack from my local alternative store - no dressmakers for me! I'd style my hair myself (out if it's cold enough, or just up in a loose bun if it's hot) and just chuck a heap of flowers in it - no veil.

Of course, if the guy I end up wanting to do all of this with really wants the big church wedding deal, well I'd go along with that too. It's not my preference, but what does it really matter? It's the life after the wedding that matters to me, not the wedding itself.

Abrupt change of topic. I didn't see any places this morning. The Real Estate agent (a different one from yesterday obviously) called late yesterday afternoon and said that both properties had now been let. Unfortunately, but the time she told me, it was too late for me to tee up other properties for this morning. Hopefully tomorrow's will still be available by the time I see it! I'm feeling more and more keen about it.

And another abrupt change of topic. I agree with Di (and the Rich she obviously got it from) - this is very cool. Dali crossed with Escher - I like. It does take a while to load though, so be patient.

Oh, and I got linked for the first time by someone I haven't read before. And under the heading "Blogs worth reading". Thanks Ex Mea Sententia!

Man! There are some very rude (and some really sick) smilies out there. I was looking for a smilie for embarrased or blushing for the above comment and went to this site. Thought maybe there might be something under "Love" - nothing I could use, but a few that made me laugh. Then I looked under "Mixed" - ho boy! Eventually found the one I used under "Speechless" - go figure.

I was pondering my group of friends after my blog yesterday and suddenly had the frightening thought that every single one of my friends has a degree. After racking my brains for about 10 minutes, I finally came up with two that don't and felt better. After all, I come from a background where I'm the only person in my immediate family with a degree. The thought that ALL of my friends have one was quite scary. But the thing is that the two that don't are not dissimilar to those that do. All of my friends are thinkers and all are opinionated (even though some voice those opinions less than others). In general, their opinions are deeply considered and firmly felt. They're all aware of the world and the issues of the day. Even when I disagree with their opinions, I always respect them.

Oh - and apparently Kerry has conceded. I'm not really that knowledgeable about US politics, so I'll save the commentary for those who are.

That's probably enough waffling for one day.

Listening to: Ben Folds - Super D


Blogger sarni said...

Recently, J's parents mentioned that when they got married, their only furniture was a really nice coffee table an aunt gave them, and beanbags. They still use the coffee table - and they got married on his mum's 21st as well. :-D

I am still getting accustomed to the very thought of being married at some stage in the future - the thought of a wedding still fills me with more apprehension than excitement.

12:12 pm  
Blogger OLS said...

Maybe because it's likely it will be a bit of a clash of cultures? From what I heard about your cousin's wedding (the one I met on your birthday), that could be a problem without even taking J's family into account.

I would always go with "if it doesn't feel right, don't do it" and if running away to Vegas to tie the knot, or not tying it at all, is what feels right... ;o)

Personally, I want to get married only because I want kids and I want that level of security (both emotionally and legally) with my partner before I give up a lot of myself and my lifestyle to become a mother.

But I know that your feelings on this stuff is different.


PS I don't think my parent's got a lot of wedding gifts. Most of their friends were as broke as them, so they gave their time instead of gifts (one was the photographer, the guys that donated their cars, a couple helped them renovate) and with the parental disapproval and all... Anyway, I can't think of anything they've pointed out to me as a wedding gift.

12:33 pm  
Blogger Lushlife said...

It will sound trite and schmultzy - but our wedding day was the happiest and best day of our lives. We married in a civil ceremony in Maleny in a gazebo overlooking a valley on a beautiful Spring day. One of my best friends read the poem "The Owl and the Pussycat" and the last line in that poem is "And they danced by the light of the moon" We did dance all night to a great band we hired - I think that music really made our wedding. When we entered the room I got the sense of the happiest vibe from everyone in there and people couldn't wait to get up and dance and EVERYONE danced and begged the band to keep going. So many of my friends and family told me it was one of the best weddings they had ever been to and I really think they meant it. It was fun and happy like that day should be. A time for a private declaration of love to be publicly declared and shared with the people we are closest to in our life. I think being married is great and considering I have been married for 8 years and together with the same guy for 14 years I thoroughly endorse the concept of marriage.

10:23 pm  
Blogger sarni said...

I have been to a couple of weddings, and I have been known to shed a quiet tear because they have been so lovely... I think that certainly the culture issues provide an extra layer of adminstrative stress which add to my ambivalent feelings about weddings.

We've thought about eloping - but our parents would kill us. :-D

11:57 pm  
Blogger OLS said...

sarni - I know what you mean. My Mum is pretty relaxed, but she'd still go mental if I eloped. That doesn't mean I wouldn't do it though... ;o)

lushlife - your wedding sounds lovely. Some friends of mine had a handfasting ceremony on a mountain top in Maleny - that was a lovely wedding as well. A bit too structured for my personal tastes, but lovely to attend.


12:16 pm  

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