Observant little ...

I don't understand the answer, but I may have some ideas on the question...

plans for the weekend

I seem to have fallen into a pattern with my blogging - Friday I post about my plans for the weekend, Monday I talk about what I actually did (which is usually less than I planned) and then the rest of the week I talk about other stuff.

So, to follow the pattern - this weekend my plans are fairly simple. Nothing happening tonight. Just a chance to relax, watch some TV and catch up on my personal emails. Tomorrow I'm hoping to catch up with an old friend who I ran into walking to work yesterday - he lives over near me, so nothing is planned, I'll just call him and see what he's up to once I've done all my housework. And of course, there's the housework to be done - lots of it, since I didn't get anything done last weekend with being away and not much the weekend before with Fiesta on.

Saturday night, I'm heading in to the Troubadour to see A Millers Tale and Wes Davidson with the Law Student. My one gig for the weekend - it must be almost a record.

Sunday, I'm hoping to catch up with the Fairy. I'm feeling a bit ambiguous about this to be fair - I do want to catch up with her and share about what's been happening in each other's lives. But I'm still feeling pretty niggly about how she's been treating me lately - if you want to keep your friends as friends and not just mere acquaintances, you have to put a bit of time and effort into them. I feel that I've been making all of the effort and she hasn't even put in the slightest bit of time. Even now, it's early in the uni year, she doesn't have assignments due, or exams pending or anything like that, but when I mention catching up I just keep on getting the impression that it's all too much effort from her point of view. She would rather be studying that seeing me. Not that she WANTS to see me or to catch up. I'm starting to get that "well, if she can't be bothered, then neither can I" feeling and I don't like that in myself.

We were supposed to catch up with each other last night at Tylea, but she bailed because she wasn't feeling well and felt she would just want to crash after work. I can understand that. As it turns out, I didn't go either. Just felt bleh after work and kept on finding excuses to put off going for another 1/2 hour until it was probably too late to bother going at all. But I think part of my feeling bleh was that, once again, the Fairy was making excuses not to see me. Not that I don't think that the excuse wasn't genuine, just that she could've made an effort - it's not like we see each other all the time.

Anyway, we are currently at an impasse - I suggested she come to my place, she suggested coffee at a cafe near her place, and now I've suggested lunch at my place. I just can't get over the feeling that if we end up having coffee near her place, either (a) the boy will come too, or (b) she will find an excuse after 1/2 an hour to leave. We can't meet at her place because the boy will be there and I don't want to talk about this stuff in front of anyone else. And I've never really felt comfortable at her place - she's not a particularly good host for things like that - doesn't make sure she has nibblies and drinks when she knows someone will be coming over for an extended time - and she'll answer the phone while I'm there and then have a long conversation with the person on the other end, while I just hang around. That really annoys me. And I would be pissed off if I drive the 1/2 hour over there to only spend 1/2 hour with her. And she hasn't even seen my place yet. And she could always do other stuff over this side of town (like the markets - we used to go to those together all the time) - there's nothing else I can do over her side.

I'm being really picky and petty about this, I know it. I just want her to have to make some effort dammit! I want her to put the time into me for a change. I figure that's fair - I'll put the time into doing something nice for lunch, and she can put the time into coming over to my place. That way it's not all one-sided.

*sigh* In some ways I'll be relieved if it all falls through. I hate conflict, especially with my friends, but I can't leave things as they stand. I feel guilty because everyone else knows stuff that I haven't told her yet. I feel guilty about it because she's supposed to be a close friend and so I would share these things with her, but I haven't shared them with her because I haven't seen her. For me, it needs to be one way or the other. Either we agree to cool it as friends, or we agree that our friendship is a priority and deserves a little attention.

Somehow, I think it's going to be the former. Oh well.

Listening to: Core Sample 03


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