Back to work
After a couple of days off sick (again! So bloody sick of this! No pun intended. Feeling okay today - still a bit sore and coughy from being sick, but okay), I'm back and ready to talk about my weekend.
Friday night - as intended, a quiet night.
Saturday lunch - lunch was nice, all went to plan. The company could have been better (more on that below)
Saturday night - I can't remember the name of the first support, but they were pretty ordinary, so it's probably not an issue. It's not that they weren't good musically, they were just a bit samey, not enough variety in their tunes. Wes Davidson and band were great - nice blend of folk and pop. They had a little 2 song CD for sale, which I bought... I think they'll be huge someday and I'll be able to sell it for a fortune! ;o) A Millers Tale were also thoroughly enjoyable - they are a duo of guitars/vocals - I would probably describe them as catchy folk. The girl's voice reminded me a little of the chick from Frente, but both of them also looked familiar. I can only think that they are from a bigger band somewhere, but I'm buggered if I can remember.
The crowd was kind of sweet - obviously some were family and friends for A Millers Tale - they were sitting kind of near us. And a bunch of friends of Wes Davidson's band were also hanging around - one girl complained about the guys standing (maybe 5 metres) in front of where we were sitting and then, about 10 minutes later, stood directly in front of me. And I mean directly - I could actually touch her back without having to move my body in the slightest. I don't get it. Eventually, when her mate also joined them and stood in front of me, I tapped her on the shoulder and asked if she would mind moving about 30cm to the left (where there was heaps of room) so I could see. She did, but made the oddest little bow in doing so as if this was an outrageous request. Thereafter, her friends always left a little gap for me to see through, so I don't really care if they thought I was unreasonable... it worked! ;o)
Anyway, back to lunch with the Fairy - the food went well. I suppose it all went well in the sense that I gave myself closure. But that's about the nicest thing I can say about it. I don't think the Fairy wanted to be there. She made conversation really hard, even when I purposefully raised topics that she should be interested in, like psychology. She showed a complete lack of interest in what I had been up to lately (despite the fact that quite a lot has actually happened in the last 3 months) and was predictably unsupportive of the whole internet dating thing. She just seemed bored. And I got sick of trying to entertain her. So I'm not going to make any effort anymore and I expect that the friendship will just drop off. I'm a little hurt, because we had been very good friends, but realistically I suppose it was inevitable. And it's not like I don't have other friends. If I put a little effort into it, I could probably even make some more if I wanted to. ;o)
Update
I was just talking about this with a work colleague and she raised a valid point - for some reason I always seem to think it's my fault if I fall out of touch with someone... that I haven't done enough. I think it is because I find it so easy to let go of people - I can easily go for a couple of months without even thinking about a friend, let alone contacting them. So I feel guilty about losing touch. Then there is also the added factor with the Fairy that:-
(a) I am very hurt by the way she cut off contact with me when I was overseas, then didn't come to my birthday, and didn't seem particularly interested in seeing me when I came back; and
(b) I always feel that I can't express my opinions to her about anything without having to walk on eggshells - she seems to think that me expressing my opinion is me telling her what to think rather than me telling her what I think (I guess I get opinions from everyone and then make up my own mind, so it doesn't bother me to get contradictory opinions from people) - so I try to communicate with her without actually telling her what I think, which is never very successful - I'm a very opinionated person and there are only so many non-opinionated comments you can make without sounding disinterested.
Which brings me to something else - the Fairy accused me of being aggressive on Saturday. I know for a fact that I'm not a very aggressive lawyer - more negotiator than bulldog litigator - I like to resolve matters to the agreement of all. She asked me if I thought I was an aggressive person. And I don't really think I am because:-
(a) My opinions tend to be formed intellectually rather than emotionally, so I'm not overly attached to them. I can be rationalised out of them as long as I'm not attacked personally, and not treated as though my opinion (and I highlight that because it is only an opinion) is completely invalid.
(b) Unless I lose my temper, which actually occurs very rarely (maybe a couple of times a year?), I tend to argue my points calmly and rationally and I only get loud when someone tries to speak over me. I think this is a trait of large families (I only have one sibling, but I have 20 odd cousins that I grew up with) - if someone tries to interupt, just keep speaking more loudly. Actually, even then, I tend to let it go the first few times it happens.
(c) Even when I lose my temper, I never get physical and I actually don't get loud, I get quiet but "very intense and I enunciate extremely clearly" - and yep, that's a direct quote from one who has seen it many times.
(d) I guess I don't think of myself as aggressive because I'm basically so happy and accepting of people. I'm quite happy for other people to have their opinions (after all, ask 2 lawyers and you'll get 2 opinions) and usually like hearing them as long as they don't ram them down my throat and completely disregard that there may be another opinion out there (I have this problem with my co-worker quite a lot - he asks my opinion and then yells at me, telling me why I'm wrong).
The only area where I think I am more aggressive than the average bear is where there is some injustice - especially to my friends and family. I will complain to the company or whatever if me or mine have been treated unfairly by their staff. I will stand up for my legal rights in a dispute. But I do it without any personal animosity and in polite language. I prefer to complain in writing so that I can write it while I'm ticked off and then revise a couple of hours later when I'm calm and happy again.
Does this make me an aggressive person? No really - I'm interested - tell me in my comments.
Listening to: Belle & Sebastian - Dear Catastrophe Waitress
Friday night - as intended, a quiet night.
Saturday lunch - lunch was nice, all went to plan. The company could have been better (more on that below)
Saturday night - I can't remember the name of the first support, but they were pretty ordinary, so it's probably not an issue. It's not that they weren't good musically, they were just a bit samey, not enough variety in their tunes. Wes Davidson and band were great - nice blend of folk and pop. They had a little 2 song CD for sale, which I bought... I think they'll be huge someday and I'll be able to sell it for a fortune! ;o) A Millers Tale were also thoroughly enjoyable - they are a duo of guitars/vocals - I would probably describe them as catchy folk. The girl's voice reminded me a little of the chick from Frente, but both of them also looked familiar. I can only think that they are from a bigger band somewhere, but I'm buggered if I can remember.
The crowd was kind of sweet - obviously some were family and friends for A Millers Tale - they were sitting kind of near us. And a bunch of friends of Wes Davidson's band were also hanging around - one girl complained about the guys standing (maybe 5 metres) in front of where we were sitting and then, about 10 minutes later, stood directly in front of me. And I mean directly - I could actually touch her back without having to move my body in the slightest. I don't get it. Eventually, when her mate also joined them and stood in front of me, I tapped her on the shoulder and asked if she would mind moving about 30cm to the left (where there was heaps of room) so I could see. She did, but made the oddest little bow in doing so as if this was an outrageous request. Thereafter, her friends always left a little gap for me to see through, so I don't really care if they thought I was unreasonable... it worked! ;o)
Anyway, back to lunch with the Fairy - the food went well. I suppose it all went well in the sense that I gave myself closure. But that's about the nicest thing I can say about it. I don't think the Fairy wanted to be there. She made conversation really hard, even when I purposefully raised topics that she should be interested in, like psychology. She showed a complete lack of interest in what I had been up to lately (despite the fact that quite a lot has actually happened in the last 3 months) and was predictably unsupportive of the whole internet dating thing. She just seemed bored. And I got sick of trying to entertain her. So I'm not going to make any effort anymore and I expect that the friendship will just drop off. I'm a little hurt, because we had been very good friends, but realistically I suppose it was inevitable. And it's not like I don't have other friends. If I put a little effort into it, I could probably even make some more if I wanted to. ;o)
Update
I was just talking about this with a work colleague and she raised a valid point - for some reason I always seem to think it's my fault if I fall out of touch with someone... that I haven't done enough. I think it is because I find it so easy to let go of people - I can easily go for a couple of months without even thinking about a friend, let alone contacting them. So I feel guilty about losing touch. Then there is also the added factor with the Fairy that:-
(a) I am very hurt by the way she cut off contact with me when I was overseas, then didn't come to my birthday, and didn't seem particularly interested in seeing me when I came back; and
(b) I always feel that I can't express my opinions to her about anything without having to walk on eggshells - she seems to think that me expressing my opinion is me telling her what to think rather than me telling her what I think (I guess I get opinions from everyone and then make up my own mind, so it doesn't bother me to get contradictory opinions from people) - so I try to communicate with her without actually telling her what I think, which is never very successful - I'm a very opinionated person and there are only so many non-opinionated comments you can make without sounding disinterested.
Which brings me to something else - the Fairy accused me of being aggressive on Saturday. I know for a fact that I'm not a very aggressive lawyer - more negotiator than bulldog litigator - I like to resolve matters to the agreement of all. She asked me if I thought I was an aggressive person. And I don't really think I am because:-
(a) My opinions tend to be formed intellectually rather than emotionally, so I'm not overly attached to them. I can be rationalised out of them as long as I'm not attacked personally, and not treated as though my opinion (and I highlight that because it is only an opinion) is completely invalid.
(b) Unless I lose my temper, which actually occurs very rarely (maybe a couple of times a year?), I tend to argue my points calmly and rationally and I only get loud when someone tries to speak over me. I think this is a trait of large families (I only have one sibling, but I have 20 odd cousins that I grew up with) - if someone tries to interupt, just keep speaking more loudly. Actually, even then, I tend to let it go the first few times it happens.
(c) Even when I lose my temper, I never get physical and I actually don't get loud, I get quiet but "very intense and I enunciate extremely clearly" - and yep, that's a direct quote from one who has seen it many times.
(d) I guess I don't think of myself as aggressive because I'm basically so happy and accepting of people. I'm quite happy for other people to have their opinions (after all, ask 2 lawyers and you'll get 2 opinions) and usually like hearing them as long as they don't ram them down my throat and completely disregard that there may be another opinion out there (I have this problem with my co-worker quite a lot - he asks my opinion and then yells at me, telling me why I'm wrong).
The only area where I think I am more aggressive than the average bear is where there is some injustice - especially to my friends and family. I will complain to the company or whatever if me or mine have been treated unfairly by their staff. I will stand up for my legal rights in a dispute. But I do it without any personal animosity and in polite language. I prefer to complain in writing so that I can write it while I'm ticked off and then revise a couple of hours later when I'm calm and happy again.
Does this make me an aggressive person? No really - I'm interested - tell me in my comments.
Listening to: Belle & Sebastian - Dear Catastrophe Waitress
posted by OLS |
Wednesday, July 28, 2004 | 11:42 am
3 Comments:
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
It really annoys me with this that you can't edit a comment... (hence the previous deletion)
Anyway, what I was saying before was that I realised looking back over this post that I'd accidentally written A Fleeting Glimpse instead of A Millers Tale for the band I saw on Saturday night - A Fleeting Glimpse were the band I saw a while back.
I've edited the email to reflect this change, but thought I should also post a comment, just in case folk have already read the blog and didn't pick up on the edit.
That's a damn fine album you're listening to there....
Thanks for dropping by my blog and offering your thoughts on my friend dumping scenario. You know, I can understand it if he never wants to talk to me again and finds that he has moved on and all that. That's okay. As you said, the weird bit is to write it all down and dump it on me. Your scenario seems a bit more, well, normal. You tried to pick the friendship back up, it was a bit of a struggle, and you think it will probably drop off. That's okay. You both tried and you can both try again if you want. I sort of feel robbed of that. I've emailed him a couple of times - once to say "well you know where I am if you change your mind" and then again a bit later to say "f**k you" or words to that effect. No reply!
By the way - your remark about forming opinions intellectually rather than emotionally.... I do that too (although I've never really thought of it like that before). I often take a position just to see if someone can argue me off it, and if it's a particularly silly one, I feel really disappointed if nobody does.
Anyway thanks for dropping by and it's great to discover a new (to me anyway) blog.... I'll be back.
ST
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