My theories on dating
Going to the movies tonight with a guy on met on RSVP. It's the first date from there that I've been on and I'm a little apprehensive. We are going to do coffee first (meeting at 8:30 for a 9:30 movie), so it shouldn't be too difficult. It just feels so weird!
Thinking back, I think this is only the second date I've ever been on. The first was Konrad from Cameroon, who I went on one date with in Dublin. During the course of that date he said he loved me and asked me if I'd be interested in having children with him, so you can see why I'd be a little freaked out! So the guy was gorgeous (he looked like the "Shwopshire? Weally?" guy from the Moccona ad), he was just a bit full on. He was also a little serious and didn't get my sense of humour.
I probably should mention, before I start to look like a loser with my non-dating, my definition of dating is that it involves doing some sort of activity one-on-one with a guy that you are sexually interested in (or might be sexually interested in, in the case of a blind date) but are not actually sleeping with or committed to. I've often gone out with guys one-on-one who are just friends and we both knew we were just friends, but I don't count that as a date. Even when those same guys have ended up as boyfriends later - at the time, the activity wasn't a date. There has to at least be the possibility of snogging at the end of the activity. Obviously, I've also gone out to dinner and stuff with guys that I'm in a relationship with, but I don't count that either, because we're already in a relationship, so the snogging is a given. ;o) So yeah, I guess dating is when you can see a different guy each night of the week and no-one is likely to get jealous, because it's just dating. It's actually quite hard to define in the post- "sexual revolution era" I think!
My Mum seemed to have it down to a fine art in the 60's. She often tells tales about the guys she used to go out with. She refused to go out with any guy that didn't have a car (which many guys didn't in those days), and if he gave her chocolates, she wouldn't open them until she got home so she wouldn't have to share. She was a real bitch! But I think it was about the norm back in those days. It was nothing to be dating 10 different guys at the same time, and not be serious about any of them.
In some ways, I think that's a little like when I was travelling. You'll invite someone you met 5 minutes ago to dinner or a gig with you because you are both at a loose end that night. It's a way of getting company for something. Even if you have nothing in common with them. Some of my best times overseas were spent with people that I probably would never have made friends with otherwise because we're so different. But they happened to be the in same place at the same time as me, so we spent time together. That seems to be like why my Mum dated - he had a car, and no-one more interesting had come along yet.
Maybe my theories will change as I start to date with people who don't want me to have their children on the first date... ;o)
Listening to: an MP3 compilation of Brisbane bands, including Charles Foster Kane, Dave McCormack, Taxi, The Informants, Guy Webster, & Tylea. Don't worry, I either sought permission from the copyright holder first, or they are downloads from websites!
Thinking back, I think this is only the second date I've ever been on. The first was Konrad from Cameroon, who I went on one date with in Dublin. During the course of that date he said he loved me and asked me if I'd be interested in having children with him, so you can see why I'd be a little freaked out! So the guy was gorgeous (he looked like the "Shwopshire? Weally?" guy from the Moccona ad), he was just a bit full on. He was also a little serious and didn't get my sense of humour.
I probably should mention, before I start to look like a loser with my non-dating, my definition of dating is that it involves doing some sort of activity one-on-one with a guy that you are sexually interested in (or might be sexually interested in, in the case of a blind date) but are not actually sleeping with or committed to. I've often gone out with guys one-on-one who are just friends and we both knew we were just friends, but I don't count that as a date. Even when those same guys have ended up as boyfriends later - at the time, the activity wasn't a date. There has to at least be the possibility of snogging at the end of the activity. Obviously, I've also gone out to dinner and stuff with guys that I'm in a relationship with, but I don't count that either, because we're already in a relationship, so the snogging is a given. ;o) So yeah, I guess dating is when you can see a different guy each night of the week and no-one is likely to get jealous, because it's just dating. It's actually quite hard to define in the post- "sexual revolution era" I think!
My Mum seemed to have it down to a fine art in the 60's. She often tells tales about the guys she used to go out with. She refused to go out with any guy that didn't have a car (which many guys didn't in those days), and if he gave her chocolates, she wouldn't open them until she got home so she wouldn't have to share. She was a real bitch! But I think it was about the norm back in those days. It was nothing to be dating 10 different guys at the same time, and not be serious about any of them.
In some ways, I think that's a little like when I was travelling. You'll invite someone you met 5 minutes ago to dinner or a gig with you because you are both at a loose end that night. It's a way of getting company for something. Even if you have nothing in common with them. Some of my best times overseas were spent with people that I probably would never have made friends with otherwise because we're so different. But they happened to be the in same place at the same time as me, so we spent time together. That seems to be like why my Mum dated - he had a car, and no-one more interesting had come along yet.
Maybe my theories will change as I start to date with people who don't want me to have their children on the first date... ;o)
Listening to: an MP3 compilation of Brisbane bands, including Charles Foster Kane, Dave McCormack, Taxi, The Informants, Guy Webster, & Tylea. Don't worry, I either sought permission from the copyright holder first, or they are downloads from websites!
posted by OLS |
Tuesday, June 08, 2004 | 1:08 pm
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